1. Be a family advocate.

What works best for the entire family will benefit the child most. When teachers and parents resist working together — on any level — the child loses.

2. Express your desire to hear feedback, both positive and negative.

Convince parents that you mean it. Tell them how and when you like to be reached. Respond promptly to phone calls, notes, or email messages. Thank them for their input.

3. Set mutual goals.

Many schools arrange for parent-teacher (and student) conferences before the school year begins. This can be a time to discuss hopes and objectives, and to create a plan that identifies both the teacher's and the parents' role in meeting them.

4. Genuinely validate parental concerns.

Assure parents through receptive language (including body language) that you are listening to their needs. This is harder than it sounds. It often requires accepting another point of view, rather than defending an approach. Remember that there are many effective paths to knowledge, and they can often be incorporated.

5. Choose honest explanations over "window-dressing."

Too often, parents' questions meet with pat, rehearsed, or over-protective answers. All teachers are human. School systems are not perfect. Contrary to what we might believe, an honest answer (and a promise to take a closer look) will win parental trust over the "party line" every time.

6. Honor the rhythms and needs of family life.

Consider "homework-free" zones, such as weekends or vacations. If you're feeling stressed over the holidays, chances are your classroom families are feeling harried, too. Transitions and special events are tough on everyone. Be careful not to shift the workload from school to home during these times.

7. Establish regular forms of communication, such as a newsletter, telephone message center, or web site.

In addition to covering subjects and upcoming events, include brief activities that parents can do at home to support learning. Begin a homework club or homework hot line.

8. Throw down the welcome mat.

Invite parents into the classroom on a volunteer basis or simply to observe. Make them feel like welcomed guests. Take their coats, offer them a cup of tea, assign a student tour guide. Remind them that their presence supports their child's success in school, and praise them for their commitment.

9. Create a parent resource center in your classroom or school library.

Provide curriculum guides, sample assessments, lists of standards and benchmarks, copies of textbooks, activity books, books on child-development, and guides to community resources.

10. Remember that, most of all, parents want to feel that you truly know their child.

In addition to focusing on WHAT a student is learning, focus on HOW the student learns. What motivates this student? What makes this child uncomfortable? Communicate this understanding — particularly the child's strengths — to parents at every opportunity.